7 Reasons Why Daft Punk Hide Behind Helmets
“We’ve Come Too Far To Give Up Who We Are”. For sure, all the way from France to America and they didn’t want to give up their real identities. But, why? The mysterious French electronica artistes Daft Punk have been making news for more reasons than one. For alternative paprazzi, Grammy-winning was mundane as compared to finding out the faces of the men behind the shiny robotic helmets. Commotion unleashed itself on the world when their faces were revealed. soundplunge_test investigates probable causes of why the chaps of Daft Punk were in denial of their uber sexy faces until the day they were caught red handed (faced) without their masks.
For convenience’s sake, they will be referred to as X and Y. Because they’re two-dimensional musicians. Sorry. Sheldon will be pleased in a Big Bang World.
Following traffic rules is sacrosanct to X and Y. X told our birdie, “Safety first, music second, omelette du frommage third,” after which our birdie couldn’t translate it to English. It bumped into a lamppost and is currently still in coma at a nearby hospital. Both X and Y are laughing today because they know the importance of wearing helmets – on a bike, at wine tastings, at an orphanage, at Salman Khan’s movie premieres, or at award ceremonies.
They are real robots! Sure, everyone has seen their faces, but what if their faces are masks again and the real robots inside them are fighting covertly for robot rights? They were part of the recent Robot Bachao Andolan that took place in Japan where allegedly, robots are respected more than humans. Daft Punkers are watching too much of Robot-Ception!
See Through X-Ray Vision
They have secret X-ray vision that enables them to see through clothes. Never imagined Frenchmen, whose beaches are littered with nudity in abundance, are interested in scanning through clothes. Shame on you X and Y! Or maybe, they have secret plans to annihilate the earth with their powerful X-ray vision. And maybe, just maybe, they are real life relatives of Cyclops (because X-men aren’t real; snap out of the delusion).
Home Is Where Asgard Is
When X and Y were growing up in Asgard, demigod brothers Loki and Thor wanted to come to World and become actors. X and Y wanted to be famous too but were only adept at playing the Tanpura. Don’t get technical; Asgard has lot of scope for indie musicians. But that wasn’t enough. So after Loki and Thor became famous through Avengers and wore masks of Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth (names were changed to protest alien identity), X and Y decided to become dance musicians. Rumour says, they were too influenced by Gabbar and wanted to make World dance to their tunes.
Indian Cricket Team Aspirants
Virat Kohli is dating Anuskha Sharma. That’s what everyone’s talking about when you hear ‘cricket’. X and Y maintain that they want to date Bollywood actresses. And, because winning Grammys hold no importance in India, they plan to invade into India by playing cricket. An Indian actress was caught on tape reacting to Grammys as, “Grammys? That’s what Americans call their dadi. LOL?”. Sorry Frenchman, you’re chances in cricket look bleak. Unless, all cricketers get busy doing ads, in which case you can boisterously make your entry onto the pitch. *ominous laughter*
Part of French Sanskars
Most recently, Alok Nath is the hottest thing around on Indian social media. No doubt. But France too has their Alok Nath, who in all likelihood is called Père. This Pere has his set of ideals through which he pays respect to the French God – Franck Ribery (currently acquitted of having sex with an underage prostitute). Perhaps, being anonymous as robots is part of the gharelu French sanskars. Let them have some privacy, people!
Not Pretty, Just Daft
It will be a sad, sad day in a large time-space continuum if we have to convincingly say that X and Y are ashamed of the way they look. They are shallow and self-obsessed individuals who only care about self-indulgence. Hence, the masks. When we asked birdie, who telephoned them from hospital, they declined to comment. We want to assure you, X and Y, that you need not be ashamed, if you are. Being ashamed is only Sheila madam’s job who said Kejriwal had no chance in the Delhi government to become CM. Lolz.
In case you’ve missed out, this is how they look.
Disclaimer: All facts quoted here take delightful residence in the author’s roaring imagination. Any resemblance to a character, person, animal, djinn or event of history is an unfortunate coincidence or serendipity, depending upon the weather on said day of article consumption by blessed reader.