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Whatever you do, don’t be this guy!

6 Advantages of Spending Valentine’s Day Alone

Let’s ask ourselves this one question. Who is this love-spreading, cuddle-forcing monster that gave birth to a day as vicious as Valentine’s?  A day where the world is forced to believe that it has to be the biggest and most important day for someone you love. Just like the hype of New Year’s Eve which always falls flat on its face, this day too is a result of one of those societal pressures, no matter how much one tries, singular or plural, gets tricked into succumbing.

Here’s a list that tells you why this so-called ‘love day’ has a silver lining even while you’re alone, without a date. You’re without a date. That’s it. Calm down. You’re not the last person on the planet! Happy Un-valentine’s Day all! It’s not even a public holiday. What’s the use!

The ‘Joys of Freedom’ Option

You will not have to wear ‘I <3 my gurlfrend/boyfrend’ t-shirts and roam around the streets where even the bhel wala looks at you and giggles. What were you thinking? What you can do with your freedom is watch the IPL auctions and tell yourself you’re not going to bet more than 2 lakhs this year after you lost 3 lakhs last year. Hah! Who are you kidding!  Point is, no one is going to nag you about your money. Sreesanth ki jai ho.

Couples who discuss Star Wars will never be solo

The Constant Blood Pressure Option

The planning is always a one-month ordeal prior to V-day. You don’t have to go through the stress. We’re sure all those who go to T.I.M.E Institute, as the advertisement says, are masters when it comes to Valentine’s Day as well. If you’ve watched the ad you can imagine the professor in it saying, “How many of you have the TIME to plan your Valentine’s Day? If you cannot plan your Valentine’s Day, you cannot be an IIM graduate. You have to go and study in IIPM. Arindham Chowdhuri Roxx!”

When a universal father accepts your love interest

The Fellowship of Singles Option

For every time you’ve had to cancel on your single friends, the time is now to fulfill those empty promises. In all probability they’re as desperate as you to meet friends. Movies, TV shows, drinking sessions, pathetic dancing session, book readings, and so on. And the next time you make a plan with them and don’t live up to it, leave them a text saying, “Bhai tu mera bhai hai. We will go deep sea diving at Juhu beach… tomorrow.” #NowDon’tCryAndEmbarassFriendsAroundYou.

The Narcissistic Option

If you’re a girl go get a massage. If you’re a guy, do the same. After that, call in for pizzas, coke, and eat junk all day. In case you’re a fan of the TV show House of Cards, then you can fall in love with Kevin Spacey, Robin Wright or Kate Mara because Season 2 premieres on February 14.

The Sabotage Option

You can sneak into your friend’s house, the one who is going to celebrate Valentine’s in earnest, take his gift (of Rs. 20) and replace it with Alok Nath meme cards. Follow your friend to the point when he gives the gift to his lover and watch the reaction. Laugh till your heart’s content and start feeling miserably guilty and walk back home alone with a hung head. Aww. *Enrol self to gym to get Ranveer Singh’s body and then girls*

No office for romantic men

The Money Saver Option

And lastly, the most obvious one is the fact that you will not blow a single rupee on someone else by buying gifts, expensive dinners, and candles. Well, candles are cheap. But so are rupees in the global market scenario. So care a little about your wallet who always says, “Hulkut, stop pulling out my organs and selling it for your comfort. What about my comfort? Give me a bath now”. At this point you need to stop fantasizing about your wallet and tell yourself Krissh 3 was real.

To know of cheap options to drink and party if you’re alone or alone together, click here. And if you are broke and still want to go out, click here. 

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